Friday, February 18, 2011

Thank me for not smoking

A hundred years ago in 1999 during my first semester of college I smoked my first cigarette. My best friend smoked socially but I was never interested and did not understand the appeal. I cannot really tell you what got into me that day but I can tell you I had just eaten dinner in the dining hall and all my smoker pals were in between the high rises partaking in a nicotine treat and I joined in for some reason. A few weeks later they sat me down for an intervention and showed me how to actually inhale. It was a good time. Smoking was like an accesory. A trend. NOT SOMETHING I INTENDED TO DO AS AN ADULT. My friend and I would come home and go drive around so we could smoke. Eventually my dad found out a pulled the ash tray out of my truck in disgust. I quit twice. But here I am 11 years later, 29 years old still a smoker. I am like a nicotine after school special. And let me be honest-it is a drug. I'm sure all drugs are fun at first. It really is awful once you need a substance. Imagine being hungry but knowing that eating is wrong. Having an itch and a 5 fingernails you cannot scratch it with. That's the closest I can get to expaining my addiction experience. I quit by using chantix in 2009 from January 26 through April 28 and the most stressful workday of my life knocked me off the wagon.
I finally decided to quit randomly on a Wednesday(my dad's birthday) after seeing a smoker's lungs from the bodies exibit compared to that of a nonsmoker. No smoker had ever complained to me about lung or chest pain, but my lungs hurt often. And I feel constant fatigue. Now it doesn't make much sense to continue doing that to myself so that day I finished my pack without fanfair and intended to be done. Then as part of the closing of the chapter I went outside to pick up some empty packs and clean up my smoking area. Dog-gone-it. I found a pack from the day before with 3 more cigarettes in it. And like any addict I smoked those suckers. I woke up the next day and drove straight to work. I did not stop and get cigarettes. And thus-I stopped smoking. I prayed for this for my entire adult life and continue to pray that God will keep me strong.  Other than praying away the withdrawals and cravings I also eat sunflower seat to satisfy the oral fixation.
I realize most of you understand the advantages of my quitting but humor me while I list them.
  • become a better role model
  • feel better
  • look better
  • save cash
  • enjoy more free time
Obviously I do not wanna raise smokers and do not want my kids' friends to put me in the trashy smoker mom box. That's gross. Also my lungs don't hurt anymore and I already have more athletic endurance. Those smoker lines around my mouth will surely fade over time as will the yellow on my teeth. It's logical that receiving more oxygen is great for all my body systems including skin and hair. In the interest of honesty I will confess to spending about $5 per day on a pack of cigarettes. That is $150 per month. Now I get to save or BLOW that money. It's my "I stopped smoking fund." Timewise, I was smoking for about 140 minutes a day.

Now for what I will miss:
  • the thrill of the first puff of the day, after work, after a meal-yum
  • smoking while talking on the phone-one of my fave pass times
  • getting out of this house with these loud heathens for 7 minutes at a time
  • not eating everything I can reach
  • the social smoking with my two best smoker pals
I do love it. I feel like I am speaking of my mistress. It was time to end that relationship and move on. This major life change has opened some doors already. I have been spending my time organizing my kitchen(it's better than way since nonsmoker Misty eats. A lot.). I find it easier to spend that $150 per month on me. I would never have done that before. Ever. The biggest adjustment is falling asleep. It's really hard. I probably don't require as much sleep now but when I lay down I just lay there for hours. Hopefully that will subside sooner than later.I am on day 23 and am told that it takes 21 days to form a habit.

And so you're welcome.

1 comment:

  1. That is so awesome that you've given up smoking!!! I think it'll be SO worth it!! Your facial skin will improve with the improved oxygen levels in your body too! I'm 37 and most people peg me in my mid-twenties! Good luck!!

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